I'm not crying for help.

" When I talk about my depression, it doesn't mean I'm crying for help. I just want to express it, to release it and hope it will make me feel better. "

It was quite hard when I started to talk about my depression disorder with someone. They don't understand what I've been through and try to give me some suggestions that never help me in any way. I appreciate their kindness, but it might not help me to be better and it might make me look like a moron or psychopath in your view.

Help?

“Human will die anyway”

I think no one could help me better but myself. It's my nature habit, my nature character that needs to be fixed.....but you know what? I really don't want to fix it anymore. I want to get free. I want to go forever. I just don't want to have any feelings anymore.

I still love and think about my family and friends and many people who loved and cared about me. I know if I die they will be sad..... But human will die anyway, right :)

Today, tomorrow, next month, next year, or when I turn 80...the dead will come to me one way or another. If I decide to commit suicide at this age, me in your memory might be nice to think about than dead from accidents or sickness. I guess...