I killed something, and it ain't feel good.

" I could let it go...but I decided to kill it at the end."

It's just a normal day in the office. I dropped all of my stuff on the dining table, put some boxes of milk in the fridge, and went to the restroom as usual.

At that time, I tried to close the door but I couldn't. I thought it was because of a rug, so I looked around and then I saw a tail of lizard was waving from the door hinge. I scare of this animal but also don't want to kill it. BUT I didn't know why I closed the door and standing in the restroom emotionless.

A little while after, I felt so guilty and hated what I did. I should have been the one who died, so that poor animal wouldn't get killed by a fucking abnormal like me.

I hate myself.

“ All the mistakes I have done never bring me any courage to be alive. I want to go... I want to go...”

Nowadays, the medication I have doesn't make me feel better anymore. Every time I breathe, I feel pain inside.

I'm just tired of being alive.

I hope to die soon :)